We speak with founder Megan Lessem from The Baby Sleep + Mind Club about the challenges that new mums regularly encounter
When and why did you start The Baby Sleep + Mind Club?
I started the Baby Sleep + Mind Club in 2022. I spent the majority of my first born’s first few months in an anxiety-fuelled haze, with a strong mix of sleep deprivation coupled with pressures and opinions from outsiders. Everything out there was a mix of conflicting messages of what you *should* be doing with your baby, when everything conflicted by what I really *felt* I should be doing.
As soon as I tuned out of these opinions and started trusting my own instinct, it all fell into place. I knew there were so many other parents out there that would be feeling the same way and struggling through. Knowing this was one of my biggest reasons for qualifying to become a Holistic Sleep Coach and launching The Baby Sleep + Mind Club.
Was this influenced by your own experiences as a new mum?
Yes, absolutely! My experiences were unique to me, but I was absolutely not alone. You feel so vulnerable as a new mum, coupled with exhaustion. There was so little support in the way of improving sleep in a gentle, attachment focused way that isn’t stressful and involves timing your baby’s cries. I wanted to become an empowering space to offer this.
What sleep challenges did you encounter and how did you deal with them?
I felt like I encountered every single sleep challenge going. The one that sticks in my mind the most and actually fuelled my passion for The Baby Sleep + Mind Club was when my first born was waking hourly all through the night. My instinct was telling me that there must be something that is disturbing her sleep and stopping her reaching deeper restful sleep.
Once we had a plan to fix the reason, sleep started to improve naturally. This is why generic sleep plans and ‘one size fits all’ approaches simply do not work and leave parents feeling really stressed and deflated when their baby doesn’t ‘fit the mould’ of what is promised.
What are the most common concerns that new parents discover?
When you have a new baby and are first time parents, it can be quite a shock to the system – I don’t think anything really quite prepares you for it! I find new parents coming to me with concerns that are either that they are not able to put their baby down, the baby is waking lots in the night, feeding overnight and there is concern that ‘bad habits’ are being created.
I’m here to reassure parents that it is so normal and necessary for your baby to need you so much, to only want to sleep on you, to wake in the night not just for feeds but for lots of other reasons! You really do not have to stop cuddling your baby to sleep… ever… if you don’t want to!
BUT on the flip side, it’s also really normal to find this all very overwhelming and want a bit of space. I am here to help parents with stress-free solutions to doing this and empowering parents with the knowledge that you can make changes that don’t involve leaving your baby to cry and ‘figure it out’ on their own.
Is it usual for newborns to have challenges with sleep?
I find the majority of challenges that people find with newborn sleep are down to one of two things, or sometimes both. 1, having realistic expectations and 2, the baby’s comfort levels.
Realistic expectations come down to understanding that your brand new baby will most likely only want to sleep on you, probably won’t like their cot and will wake frequently! A baby’s comfort level is the next big challenge I see. Comfort directly impacts sleep and I help parents get to the bottom of any discomfort. This could manifest in the form of reflux, or also known as colic symptoms, which in most cases are driven from allergies, tongue-tie or tension from birth. Helping your baby get comfortable is a gateway to better sleep!
What are your top tips for improving a baby’s sleep?
It really depends what the specific sleep challenge is but I always say to go back to basics first and focus on building the perfect sleep foundation, first through daily habits that are all proven to help sleep. One of the most powerful ways to help sleep is through sunlight exposure first thing in the morning. This resets the internal body clock, lowers anxiety, insomnia and depression through regulating your mood.
Alongside this, lots of daily fresh air, ensuring your baby has appropriate naps for their age, a wind down and bedtime routine, and limiting screens before bed is a good place to start!
